It's not you...

It's me. It's been a while, friends, but I'm here now and that's all that matters. Hope your holidays were festive, joyous and all that good stuff. There's so much to catch up on since last we spoke (before the conference title games) so I'm just going to unload on you, I've got a lot on my mind. No rhyme or reason to this so hang on, bite your lip and let's give it hell.

College Football Madness...

• Before we get into any of the minutia, let's recognize the fact that it is very cool that Bama and Texas are facing off for a national title. Royal....Bryant....old school.
  
• Great news for the Texas offensive line - you get one more shot to prove to the football-watching public that you actually have a pride (and a set of balls). The more I think about the game (my prediction below), the more this worries me. And frankly, it's going to be up to the coaching staff to put in place a game plan that tailors to their strengths....giving the QB time to throw is not one of them. Unfortunately. Nine sacks? Really?
  
• Not that it matters, but if asked to vote on the 5 fellows in New York, my order would have gone Gerhart, McCoy, Ingram, Suh and Tebow. Kudos to Ingram though, good season.
  
• Just because I haven't officially commented on it yet....there's no effing way that Colt "knew he had plenty of time to get that play off at the end". That's horsesh*t. That may be one of the few, if not only, times when both a coach and starting QB completely and utterly freeze up and lose control of the situation. Dumb, dumb....YOU HAD A TIMEOUT!!!
• I just can't believe how none of the talking heads are giving Texas a chance. I know Saban hates it and he should - not a good position to be in playing Goliath. I find it very, very odd. Make your judgments based on one game and you'll be sorry...
• Can you remember a more boring and lame bowl season? I can't. Not even close.
  
• The one exception to that being the Idaho/Bowling Green game - I had it on with about 2 minutes left in the game, but was promptly asked to put on Little Bear (I'll let you figure out by whom), missing what may very well be one of the most exciting 40 seconds of college football. If you missed it, go YouTube it - unbelievable. Coaches who say f'k it, we're going for 2 and the win are awesome! Kudos Idaho. Nice win on the smurf field.
  
• So how weird was the Urban Meyer story? What a knucklehead. I quit. No wait, I'm just taking a leave of absence. You have to wonder how smart someone really is when they pull something like this. And what does it mean for the Florida football program? I mean, what happened overnight that led him to switch from resignation to leave of absence. I don't know, very weird though. Makes me wonder about old Urban Meyer just a little bit.
  
• Nice showing by Arizona in the Holiday Bowl last night - sheesh, only 32 yards of offense in the first half? Will be curious to see if Mike Stoops is back next year - I think he is, but I think he's going to have some tremendous pressure to raise the bar. I wouldn't be shocked if they let him go now, but I do think they'll give him another year. He'd be a good candidate for Tech to take a look a (don't worry, more on the state of Red Raiders below).
  
• Hey, Mike Sherman, you may want to reserve some time in future practices to work on special teams. Completely unacceptable performance by the Aggies. Just when you think this team may be putting something together they go out and play a game like this. And don't give me this, "well it was Georgia and they're good". That's crap - A&M should be better than this and I know there's a lot of young talent coming back next year, but I just don't know what to expect from this group. I wonder where the limit is for Sherman - he should get next year at the very least and maybe 2 more, but they've got to show something better than this.
  
• Nine sacks? Seriously?
  
• I wonder how TCU, Cincy and Boise State are taking this "the whole season is like a playoff" talk this year?
  
• I was appalled when I saw that TCU is facing Boise State in this year's Fiesta Bowl. Feels like a slap in the face to me (and it's funny listening to talking heads defend this). You two guys go over there and play and regardless of who wins, you're still the "little guys". Unreal. I would MUCH rather see TCU take on Georgia Tech and Boise face Iowa. Or hell, any other combo.
  
• I think it's official - whether or not they ever get the inclusion, the Mountain West is a worthy BCS conference. Tell me a BCS conference that you could honestly say was better than the Mountain West this year. Big 12? Big 10? ACC? I don't think so. SEC maybe, but even those guys were "down" this year compared with past years (although you'd never know it from all of the incoherent chatter from the inbred SEC faithful).
  
• Here's a rule that needs changing in college football - coaches leaving their teams before the damn season is over with. Brian Kelly should have told Notre Dame, "hey, I'm there, but I have to finish this year out". Hell, he probably could have, but they wouldn't have bought it. Another crappy wrinkle to the college game. However, on the flip side, why did his players freak out so much? You KNEW he was going to take this job!!! Very weird story,but I guess whatever they need to do to motivate themselves....Either way, kind of crappy way to end a great season for the Bearcats.
  
• Tech doesn't have Leach and Michigan State has 11 players suspended - yeah, that Alamo Bowl should be a great one.

Texas Tech:
Weird, weird story here. The more I read about this story, the weirder it gets. At first I think Gerald Meyers was up to his same old dumbass moves, but the more I hear about this the more I think Leach's ego just plain got the best of him. Here's the deal, Leach acted like a complete jackass with this James kid. I think it's clear to most of us who have followed this story that Leach likely didn't like this kid too much and thought of him as a lazy loafer (a claim that has been supported by a couple of players). And I think it's the sentiment of most that the kind of hazing that Leach did is quite common at football programs around the country. And let's be honest, at no point was this kid put in any harmful situations. Not at all. Degrading and embarrassing? Yes, but not harmful.

BUT, that doesn't mean Leach still shouldn't take responsibility for the jackass-ness he displayed. All he had to do was apologize to the kid and his family. Literally, that's all he had to do and he refused. Unreal. Like I said, Leach's ego and arrogance was just too much. And let me just say this about Craig James and his spoiled-brat son - you both suck ass. I'd bet my right arm that Craig James went into this with the hopes that Leach would lose his job - he's got a reputation as one of those parents who's constantly calling and complaining about his son's playing time (side note: if you're a parent and you're doing that when your child is in college, you suck...big time). Make no mistake, this is all on Leach for the reasons I stated above, but this kid is a puss. Period.

So what does this mean for Texas Tech football? I don't think this is going to be good for Tech football...not at all. I'm not sure who they go and get as their coach, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of money that it's a step backwards. I've heard Art Briles' name mentioned and that wouldn't be bad, but it's not great. I'd go after Kevin Sumlin of Houston or Mike Stoops at Arizona. I think you could get Sumlin and maybe Stoops, although may be more of a long shot. We'll see, but I think this program is going to take a step or two backwards over the next year or so. And if they bring on Ruffin McNeil full time...forget about it. They'll be .500 at best each year. I like Ruffin a lot and he's a good D-coordinator, but he's no head coach.

I imagine the administration will be in crisis control mode for quite some time as donations are sure to drop a bit and fans are sure to raise all sorts of hell. Will be a tough off season for the Tech football program. VERY bad gig for the Big 12 as a whole as well.

Bowl Predictions:
Here I sit on New Year's Eve morning and so I figure I'd better blow your minds and pick some games for you....here goes.

• I'm taking Stanford over Oklahoma - I have no faith in the Sooners this year and REALLY have no faith in the Sooners in a bowl game. Viva Toby.
  
• Look for Navy to upend Mizzou - is this an upset?
  
• I simply can't imagine Iowa State winning a bowl game so I'll default to Minnesota.
  
• Don't look now, but the Vols are going to upset Virginia Tech in the Chick-fil-A bowl tonight. Maybe Lane Kiffin is a pretty decent coach after all, huh?
  
• In a "our conference is better, no our conference is better" puppet show, Penn State knocks off LSU, inching Tiger faithful closer to that edge of "our coach may not be as good as we hoped".
  
• West Virginia will destroy Florida State.
  
• Could this be the year Ohio State wins a BCS game? Not likely - Oregon runs wild against the Buckeyes and Pryor continues to struggle as OSU's signal caller.
  
• I'm actually looking forward to the Sugar Bowl as one of the "top" games of the season - I think Cincy finds a way to knock off the Gators. That may sound crazy, but I see it happening. It would seem both teams have some intangible to play for.
• I can't foresee a scenario where Oklahoma State wins the Cotton Bowl over Ole Miss. I know the Rebels have underachieved this year (understatement), but they'll pull it together for this one.
  
• Michigan State vs. Texas Tech in the Alamo Bowl.....flip a coin. Seriously, I'm taking Tech here. By about 3 touchdowns.
  
• I'm afraid Boise State is going to be over matched against TCU. This won't be near as close as folks would like to think.
  
• Same for Georgia Tech and Iowa - I'm afraid the Hawkeyes have very little chance to keep this close. Horrible, horrible match up here.
  
• Which brings us to....

Texas vs. Alabama:
Look, I've said throughout the last month of the year that I personally would be least worried about a match up with the Crimson Tide and I'm not changing my stance because of one game. Texas has looked great some weeks and looked vulnerable in other weeks, but at the end of the day, they won all of their games...just like Bama. Regardless of what the narrow-minded talking heads say, these two teams are about as evenly matched as two national title teams can be.

I have two concerns as a Longhorn fan: 1) our offensive line, and 2) our young receivers making plays. The offensive line is going to have their work cut out for them - although Bama doesn't have a Suh on that side of the ball, they do have 4 guys who are all damn good. Terrence Cody is a juggernaut, but he's no Suh and don't let the dip-shit Bama fans tell you otherwise. The coaches are going to have to come up with some kind of game plan to neutralize the front 4 of Alabama and create opportunities for Colt...which brings us to....

Those young receivers. Not much else to say here except sack up, step up and make a f'ng play. Way too many dropped passes by this bunch, including a huge drop by Kirkendoll in the Big 12 title game that would have sealed the victory much earlier. This will be a concern - I don't imagine Colt will get a ton of chances to sit back and dissect the defense so you have to take advantage of the opportunities you get. Bama has a very good secondary and those chances will be few are far between.

Here's my take - I think top to bottom Texas has better players. There are some players on Bama's team that are better than their counterparts on Texas' side, but top to bottom, Texas is better. Also, we all know how important the QB position is and call me a homer, but I'm taking McCoy all day long in that match up. Finally, I preach as much as anyone the importance of a running game, but let's be totally honest - Texas doesn't have one. At least not a consistent one. But you know what, that's OK. Let's not bang our heads against the wall too much and waste a series or two - let's do what we do best. Remember last year when Bama got worked by Utah in the Sugar Bowl? Utah didn't (and never has) have a running game so they lined up, spread Bama out and picked them apart Texas Tech style. I'm just saying...

I'm not going to let one game completely switch my opinion here. These teams are pretty damn evenly matched (and let's not forget we've got 2 coaches who have worked under Saban which doesn't hurt) and I think it's a close one regardless. Either team winning wouldn't shock me, but I just think Texas is going to win.

Texas - 23
Alabama - 18

NFL:
Where do I even begin - what an awesome end to a weird season.

• Well, well, well Cowboys fans - looks like things may be turning around for you in this cold, cruel month of December. Surprising (some would say predictable, but I was surprised) win in New Orleans followed by taking care of business in DC. TOUGH game coming up this weekend which will mean a lot. Interesting - I think Dallas will also likely play Philly in the first round, it may just be a matter of where. Dallas has been impressive, but I don't see them beating Philly this weekend - this team is playing lights out right now.
  
• If you take the teams playing the "best" right now, I'd pit San Diego against Philly in the Super Bowl.
  
• How gut wrenching was that bush league move by the Colts organization. We all understand that going undefeated is not the ultimate goal, but if you're this close you owe it to your fans and players to not screw that up. To me, that's like taking a pitcher out of the game in 6th inning with a no hitter so you can play him again on short rest. Horrible. I hated watching the press conference after the fact. For what it's worth, BCS proponents argue that is exactly what would happen to the college football regular season should a playoff be implemented. Possibly. Either way, Indy, you had better damn well make the Super Bowl now.
  
• Philly can be seeded anywhere from 2nd to 6th in the playoffs after this weekend depending on what happens - that's awesome.
  
• Speaking of Philly, it appears that Time Warner is blacking out Fox starting at midnight tonight....with BCS games on tomorrow.....and the Cowboys on Sunday.....this could get ugly.
  
• I doubt many of you recall, but at the start of the season, I had Green Bay as my dark horse to make the Super Bowl. After about 4-6 games I pretty much called that one a bad pick. And yet here we are - quietly, Green Bay is playing very, VERY well. And could we be gearing up for a Vikings-Packers III?
  
• What the hell happened to Marion Barber?
  
• It's also possible for Arizona to get the 2 seed in the NFC. Have I mentioned how much I love the NFL?
  
• FANTASY UPDATE: So the conclusion of my first fantasy year has completed. Of the 8 players we had, I came in 5th. Not great, but whatever. The classic part? The winner was none other than Ciara "we need an 8th so I'll get my wife to play" Bearden!!!! This is not the first time this sh*t has happened...trust me.
  
• I'm not crazy right? The Texans aren't really that far away. Two, maybe 3 pieces that can really get this team clicking. HAVE to have a consistent running back and need to shore up some offensive line issues.
  
• Memo to Broncos fans out there? How many of you would have taken 7-9 at the beginning of the season? Don't lie, most of you would have taken that and you know it. Worst-case scenario they go 8-8. Disappointing end to the season, but this team has a lot of talent and a bright future.
  
• I can't wait to see what unfolds in Tennessee after this season. Chris Johnson a measly 142 yards away from going for 2,000 yards and Vince Young has had his own renaissance. I can't imagine they DON'T keep VY, but I hope they shore up Johnson and lock his ass up. He's a superstar and regardless of what you do at the QB position, you must make sure you don't lose this kid. Will be a fascinating off season in Nashville.
  
• Absolutely humiliating performance by the Giants last weekend.....their last game in Giants stadium with the legends on hand. Awful. And judging by Osi's comments after the game, I'd be keeping an eye on him. You DO NOT want to lose him. I trust the Giants brass. A lot. But I think you have to keep Coughlin, but urge some changes, especially at the D-Coordinator. Sheridan has to go after the way this defense underachieved. If any of you had any illusions about the effect of Spagnuolo's departure, think again - that was a HUGE loss.
• Speaking of Spags - the good news is he'll likely be in line to take Suh in next year's draft. That's a bonus...or maybe Bradford.
  
• As much as I dislike this team, the Chargers' December has been unbelievable.....again. I don' think they've lost in December in like 4 years. They are playing some great, great football right now. They'll be a tough out in the playoffs.
  
• The world will be watching Brett Favre....trust me.
  
• I still say Peyton Manning is the MVP this year.
  
• I don't see how Holmgren keeps Mangini. Cowher??? Maybe???

Tiger:
Rrrriiiight. I'm not usually one to revel in this kind of story (the TMZ-type stories), but I find this so utterly fascinating. I think primarily it's because everyone was so completely shocked. Not to say I wasn't very surprised, but how quickly we move to idolize these athletes and put them on this pedestal of perfection - then low and behold they do something stupid and selfish and we are completely flabbergasted. The sad and crazy thing is this kind of stuff happens everyday and no one could give a crap.

Here's where I'm scratching my head - if you're going to cheat on your wife, I mean, don't you want to cheat up? I don't want to sound crass, but have you seen some of these ladies? Lord, it's not good. Weird, crazy story, that's for sure.

I will say the voice mail message he left on that chick's phone is absolutely hilarious. That may be the most embarrassing part of it all. How pathetic was that blind grasp? I loved it. Brian Jones had a great take on the radio a couple of weeks back - his mom always says, "don't be surprised if you get bit, you knew it was a snake when you picked it up." That's funny stuff.

It's really a damn shame because he's got a little girl and that really sucks. We'll see what happens, but I'm sure he'll come through this on the other side and frankly, I still want to see him play golf. Call it crappy, but I can think he's a piece of crap and still like watching him play golf, right?

The one thing I do wonder though - who's going to play Tiger in the Tiger Woods story? And what will the movie be called. Here's some ideas...

In the Rough: The Tiger Woods Story starring Dave Chapelle

Lost Balls: The Tiger Woods Story starring Jeffrey Wright

Snatch Trap: The Tiger Woods Story starring Will Smith (right, like it's not going to be him)

or how about...

Call Waiting: The Elin Woods Story

Safe and happy New Year to everyone - kiss my ass 2009, you are soooo last year.